do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
