did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
