The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
