is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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