she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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