Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
