And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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