Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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