My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Bring me that man meat
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
