Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
