He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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