her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
