i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
