Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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