I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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