i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
