His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They are going to name an STD after you.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
