You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
