Kiss
Puke
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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