I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
