Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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  (214): Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life (501): 3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/1c46
  Replies (17) Good night (1119) Bad night (2494)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.

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  (251): i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night. http://tfl.nu/skue
  Replies (20) Good night (615) Bad night (3797)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while

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  (817): well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while http://tfl.nu/ax7b
  Replies (33) Good night (1685) Bad night (5024)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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  (630): you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid. http://tfl.nu/ndn7
  Replies (5) Good night (5804) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
  Replies (68) Good night (28194) Bad night (3406)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"

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  (573): So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX" http://tfl.nu/a1ku
  Replies (20) Good night (1650) Bad night (5582)
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  (650): View more from California

  I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now

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  (650): I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now http://tfl.nu/rdt3
  Replies (23) Good night (4098) Bad night (1484)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

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  (631): I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/b6xp
  Replies (6) Good night (2281) Bad night (742)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

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  (518): Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs. http://tfl.nu/lvji
  Replies (2) Good night (1377) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.

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  (562): Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid. http://tfl.nu/2ztg
  Replies (23) Good night (2108) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?

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  (817): I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join? http://tfl.nu/sbfg
  Replies (11) Good night (1513) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"

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  (304): Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home" http://tfl.nu/2t6k
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?

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  (408): Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar? http://tfl.nu/ykkj
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.

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  (610): My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night. http://tfl.nu/dw42
  Replies (0) Good night (238) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.

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  (503): So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in. http://tfl.nu/z9yu
  Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (164)

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