Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?

  (212): View more from New York

  Vagina

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  (917): Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type? (212): Vagina http://tfl.nu/du5r
  Replies (9) Good night (2375) Bad night (701)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin

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  (203): Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/pqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (5200) Bad night (1259)
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  (408): View more from California

  his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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  (408): his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out http://tfl.nu/n59r
  Replies (10) Good night (994) Bad night (4230)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous

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  (808): she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous http://tfl.nu/8uf4
  Replies (15) Good night (5686) Bad night (1349)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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  (970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g
  Replies (20) Good night (3262) Bad night (1307)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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  (859): In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing. http://tfl.nu/n1s5
  Replies (4) Good night (3153) Bad night (665)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.

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  (970): The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch. http://tfl.nu/vgkc
  Replies (5) Good night (1324) Bad night (611)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?

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  (402): I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do? http://tfl.nu/fl2n
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (1130)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I am not being the messenger for your booty call.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.

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  (519): I am not being the messenger for your booty call. (250): I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one. http://tfl.nu/rzt1
  Replies (1) Good night (872) Bad night (326)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.

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  (206): I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense. http://tfl.nu/5wxg
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (369)
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  (310): View more from California

  I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now

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  (310): I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now http://tfl.nu/7a45
  Replies (6) Good night (706) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks

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  (321): I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks http://tfl.nu/2gnj
  Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Seriously, fuck work.

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car

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  (910): Seriously, fuck work. (1-910): uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car http://tfl.nu/awlj
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned

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  (303): Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned http://tfl.nu/2xe6
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.

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  (+44): I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices. http://tfl.nu/eayv
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (290)

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