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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  he just said he'd buy the porn

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its a step up from the last guy

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• (760): View more from California

  We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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• (707): View more from California

  You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Pencil dick carries the name proudly.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.

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• (650): View more from California

  We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm

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