my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
