I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You made out with two different species that night
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...