Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
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I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.