We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.