Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
