he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
