so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
