Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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