Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Still dying that you shit outside
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
