I want to make a zoo with you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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