I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize