I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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