I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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