I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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