it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
