he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
