when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
