he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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