Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
