I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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