I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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