Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I came so hard my ears popped.
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