Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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