We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
