David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
