She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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