Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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