3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She bit a glass in half.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
