The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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