come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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