Why are handjobs necessary in class?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
it glows. i had to have it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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