But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
