she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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