You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
