Nicole vs. Life
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
