We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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