well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
