So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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