dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
