If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
