she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
