Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
