how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
