Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
