So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
