apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
